Heartache

October 14, 2018

This will probably be a very depressing post but I really feel like I need to get this out of my chest.

Diva as a puppy
Photo: © Madeleine Lindberg www.madnezdesign.com

Losing someone is never easy. I miss her every day. I’ve been through this once before and it was very difficult but during that time I had Diva which made it somewhat easier then this time around when Diva is the one who has passed. It’s so quiet at home… She’s not around staring at me with her big brown eyes, barking at me when I don’t do what she wants. She’s not here breathing on my face when she has to go outside. No one to hug, kiss or cuddle with. These days when I try my best to take a walk outside it feels so lonely. It feels empty. Every walk I take there’s always something that reminds me of her because we have taken walks just about everywhere.

Diva and Jaxon chilling together
Photo: © Madeleine Lindberg www.madnezdesign.com

Everything feels so empty. Everything hurts. Every time I see her face on a picture or I try to imagine her in my mind, it really hurts. I want her to come back. I want to hold her, feel her and go out with her and do things she loves. I miss seeing that happiness shine through in her eyes when we did something she loved. I miss all the crazy things she used to do that would make me into a nervous wreck.

Me and Diva - She loved to cuddle like this
Photo: © Madeleine Lindberg www.madnezdesign.com

It will probably become easier with time. It’s been 4,5 months since she passed. I really hate how it hurts, it really hurts. I’m trying to make it through. I wish she could come and tell me that she’s fine and that she’s happy. That’s all.