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Goodbye Jaxon

Posted by webmiss | May 16, 2020

This month is a rough month for me, it is two years ago my beloved dog, Diva, passed away. Then this year in May something tragic happened. Jaxon, my cat, had been behaving strange for a while. He'd been hissing at me, growling and even clawing towards me. I thought maybe he had been abused  outside. But  then he began losing weight rapedly and last week he was only skin and bones. So I called the veterinarian.

Jaxon and Casper

Photo: © Madeleine Lindberg www.madnezdesign.com

I had a gut feeling it would be bad but not something surgery or medication wouldn't fix. The veterinarian took some bloodsamples and I waited for the results. She came back in after a while and said they needed to take another test and then I knew they had found something bad.

When the veterinarian came back she said Jaxon had diabetes and must have had it for a while. I know he didn't have it last year because we took the same tests exactly one year and everything looked fine, so it must have happened the past six months. The veterinarian said his liver was not good and his kidneys are working really hard but not enough. Jaxon was so far gone he was dying at this point and could end up in a coma anyday.

I asked if there was anything that could help, diet or medication and when she said insulin and bloodtests to check his bloodsugar + diet and fixed food schedule I knew that I had no other choice but to let him pass away. Jaxon is not happy being inside and for this to work he had to become an indoorcat which I've tried so many times but he becomes miserable. I don't  want my cat to have a bad life and the veterinarian agreed that letting him pass away was the best choice for him due to the fact he was very far gone in the disease. He might not even recover if we tried.

So the choice was made but I wanted to have him home for one last day and the veterinarian said okay.

Jaxon

Photo: © Madeleine Lindberg www.madnezdesign.com

Our last 24 hours together was great. I did explain to Jaxon, in a nice way, that it would be our last day together and tomorrow he wouldn't have to feel tired nor in pain anymore, he'd be free and healthy and have so much fun. No more bounderies or worries. And ofcourse I told him how much I loved him and cuddled with him when he came to me and gave him many kisses. He got all the food he wanted and whatever he wanted. The last day I took him outside for a last walk in the area, he got to take a last sniff and sit in the car without the dreaded catcage.

I really felt it was a great last day for us together and I feel glad I took him home so we could have that day.

Jaxon

Photo: © Madeleine Lindberg www.madnezdesign.com

Everything went fine at the veterinarian the day they put him to sleep. He was rather calm, got a sedative and later the shot and he died peacefully rather quick. I stayed for a while, cried, petted him and kissed him a last time and then left.

The first two days after this was very tough but it's already getting better. But I miss him. Knowing that he will never come home again, knowing I will never hug or kiss or talk to him again, it hurts. But I am so happy to know he's not in pain anymore and that he is free to do whatever he wants.

Rest in peace Jaxon
2013-05-15 - 2020-05-12